


Hysteria Masculina

by mydarlingbenedict (LiraDonne)



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Bisexual John, Blow Jobs, Come Swallowing, Established Relationship, Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Gay Sherlock, Hysterical Literature, Insecure Sherlock, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex Toys, Sherlock is more clingy than he will admit, Sherlock's POV, Vibrators, hitachi magic wand, world's fastest blowjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 09:13:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7751842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiraDonne/pseuds/mydarlingbenedict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has a thing for Hysterical Literature. Sherlock buys a vibrator and attempts to indulge him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hysteria Masculina

**Author's Note:**

> I was revisiting [Hysterical Literature](http://hystericalliterature.com/) recently, lamenting the fact that there are no men in the series--possibly because of the feminism angle, possibly because a device for hands-free penile stimulation would be more difficult to find. Someone suggested that the same device might actually work for men. I couldn't get that out of my head, so I brought in my favorite couple to test the idea. 
> 
> I don't usually write from Sherlock's POV, so I'm not sure if I got his voice right. Please feel free to point out anything that's particularly ineffective.
> 
> As for the [Velocity massager](https://smile.amazon.com/Velocity-Waterproof-Silicone-Wireless-Therapeutic/dp/B00SBY0ZWU/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1471031281&sr=8-1&keywords=velocity+massager) mentioned in the story, I will say I know for a fact that the descriptions of the button presses and vibration patterns are accurate. :-) 
> 
> Also, I learned today that male hysteria is a documented thing? Fittingly, it's related to PTSD. (Poor John.) So that's where the title of this fic comes from.

As I ascended the stairs, I heard something strange coming from the sitting room. It was a recording of a woman’s voice reading . . . something. I wasn’t familiar with the book. And that was fine.

But for some reason, the woman stopped in the middle of a sentence, gasped breathily, and moaned. It sounded like porn except I didn’t know of any porn videos that involved reading novels.

At the top of the stairs, I hovered outside the door and stopped to listen. I could hear the wet rhythmic sound of John wanking.

Odd. John usually preferred generic videos of ugly-faced, overly-muscled men fucking petite, heavily-made-up brunettes. The dialogue in those sorts of videos was boring and predictable. It was nothing like what I was hearing now.

Curious, I stepped into the sitting room. The lid of John’s laptop slammed closed and John pulled a blanket over his lap.

“God, Sherlock!” he yelled. “Don’t do that!”

“Do what? Watch you masturbate? You didn’t mind last week.” I rolled my eyes. “If you don’t want an audience, don’t wank in the sitting room with the front door open. Mrs. Hudson could’ve walked in.”

John’s cheeks flushed pink, which was kind of what I’d been aiming for. “She’s not home. And don’t sneak up on me. I could’ve punched you.”

“Hardly. Your hand was busy.”

“I--” His jaw clenched. “I’m going upstairs.”

“Don’t forget your laptop.”

John glared at me, making it clear I wasn’t invited upstairs with him.

“I’m not in the mood for a shag, anyway,” I lied.

“Fine.”

When John was gone, I took my own laptop and went to sit in his chair, where the scent of arousal still lingered. I had research to do.

~

The video series John had been watching was called Hysterical Literature. It was a work of art intended to explore the taboo of female sexuality and the effect of arousal on a person’s voice. One at a time, women in the clothing of their choosing would sit at a table and read a favorite book while an unseen assistant distracted them with a vibrator. The video typically ended when the woman had an orgasm.

Scientifically and artistically, I found it fascinating. Sexually, I would’ve preferred to see male participants.

But John was obviously into the idea, which made me wonder whether there was any way to enhance his enjoyment.

That was why, two days later, a package arrived containing a variation of the Hitachi Magic Wand. 

I had done quite a lot of research before ordering it, of course. I didn’t like the idea of a power cord getting in the way, so I found a cordless, rechargeable version. I wanted it to be easy to clean, so I made sure it was waterproof. I didn’t like how bulky the original design seemed, so I ordered a smoother, more streamlined version. And I figured I might as well get one with more than two speeds.

The model I chose was the Velocity messaging wand, which had overwhelmingly positive reviews.

While John was at work, I spent a few hours testing out the vibration patterns, the weight and feel of the thing, the best way to press it against myself so I would know how to press it against him. I quickly used up the battery and discovered that when the charge was low, the weaker vibrations were almost painful. I made sure to recharge it fully before John got home.

I thought about sending him a vaguely sexual text to hint at what was coming, but I didn’t want to spoil the surprise. I wanted to see the reaction on his face when he figured out what I’d done. He was so bad at hiding his emotions. If he disliked the idea, I wanted to know right away, before I humiliated myself.

When I knew he’d be on his way home from work, I draped myself across the sofa, steepled my fingers under my chin, and went to my mind palace. It was how he usually found me, so I thought that would be the most casual thing to do. My purple button-up--one of John’s favorites--stretched tightly across my chest. I knew the sight of it would improve his mood after a long day at the clinic.

His footsteps were mostly even as he walked up the stairs. No worse than usual. He still had a very slight limp when he was bored or tired, though he didn’t notice it. He only walked evenly when he was in danger.

He sighed heavily when he walked in the door. “If I have to diagnose one more ear infection, I’m going to give up my medical license.” He threw his medical bag by the door, hung up his coat, kicked off his shoes.

I smiled, opening my eyes as I abandoned my mind palace for my John. Try as I might to look unaffected, I always saw him as the brightest thing in the room and (because Molly had told me several times) I knew it showed on my face.

“No, you won’t,” I told him. “You’d miss it too much.”

“I’d stay busy chasing after murderers with you. I’d have no time to miss it.”

“Alright,” I said, placating him. I sat up to see him better. His hair was a mess and his shirt was rumpled. Beautiful. I wanted to kiss him, but I knew he still needed time to settle down with a cup of tea. It wasn’t time to distract him yet. God, I felt impatient.

“What’s going on?” John asked. “You’re in a good mood. You never agree with me.”

“Nothing,” I lied, lying back down again to force myself to appear normal. I closed my eyes. Looking at his face would make me smile and ruin the surprise. I wasn’t as good at hiding my emotions as he gave me credit for.

I heard him laugh and walk into the kitchen. He put the kettle on, opened the fridge, took something out--styrofoam container, had to be the pad thai from last night. I prepared myself to taste it on him. Not the worst choice.

“Are you hungry?” he asked. “I’ll make you something.”

“No.” Not for food, anyway.

He made his tea, ate his dinner cold. Boring, boring. He was taking too long. I couldn’t focus. As soon as I heard him finish his dishes, I went to the kitchen.

“John, I have something to show you.” I took his hand and led him to my bedroom, which had been gradually becoming our bedroom over the past few weeks. I opened the drawer of my bedside table and pulled out the vibrator, looking expectantly at his face.

He smiled. “You bought a vibrator.”

“Obviously.”

“A magic wand.”

“A better version, yes.”

“How--you looked up the video I was watching, didn’t you?”

I nodded. John was so much smarter than anyone gave him credit for. 

He kissed me. I didn’t understand why, but with his lips warm against mine and the slight rasp of his day-old stubble against my chin, I was hardly going to complain. He tasted of tea and pad thai and John. I was just bringing a hand up to feel the roughness at his jaw when he pulled away.

My hand fell awkwardly to my side. “So you like it?”

“I don’t know yet, but I like that you thought of me.”

“Oh.” 

He smiled again. “Don’t you want to try it?”

“I--”

He cut me off by bringing his hands to the top button of my shirt, taking his time to reveal the pale skin of my chest. I knew he liked this shirt. He was always going to be welcome to take it off of me.

I curled a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him close for another kiss. I’d been worried that John would laugh or mock me, but he was too good for that. Of course he would understand. My John, my friend, my whatever-we-were-now. I leaned into him, trying to eliminate the space between us.

He hummed against my lips and, finishing my last button, slid my shirt down my arms. I grumbled as I was forced to stop touching him for long enough to cast away the offending fabric, then I was back at him again, my fingers searching for his neck and his scruffy jaw.

His fingers went to my belt, quickly opening it and going for my trousers. Soon his hand was dipping into my pants, curling around me. I was almost fully hard.

Gasping softly, I hurried to undress him too. My hands slid up his shirt, pushing the fabric up along with his jumper. John had to help me get it all over his head. I worked his belt open and was delighted to find him as hard as I was. I gave him a few light strokes, which made him growl.

“Such a tease,” he whispered, kissing my ear. “Get in bed.”

I would happily do that, but I made a show of bending over to get out of my trousers first. I knew he liked looking at my arse--and sure enough, he was soon behind me, feeling it appreciatively. I pressed back into his hands.

“You left me alone all day,” I said, standing up. I turned to face him and my hand went to his cock again, stroking a little more firmly this time. “You could’ve been here fucking me.” If only he worked from home, I could distract him every few hours by getting naked or offering to suck him off.

His nails dug into my arse as he smiled. “Get in bed,” he said again. “I have a whole day to make up for, apparently.”

Yes, I liked that idea. I hurried into bed, lying down on my back so I could see him. 

Before I could even tell him to hurry up, he was crawling on top of me, legs between mine, kissing me. Perfect.

I reached to stroke him, but he got there first, wrapping his hand around both of us together, stroking us in tandem.

“John,” I murmured. My hips bucked as I instinctively pressed into him.

He kissed my neck. “Sherlock. Do you still want to try the--?”

“Yes.” The wand had felt really good to me. It would be even better to watch John experience it. I reached over to the side of the bed, turned it on, and pressed the speed button twice. A pattern began of three short, even vibrations followed by a nice long one. I slipped the vibrator between us, where John helped to hold it steady.

He was soon groaning on most of the long pulses, already beginning to appear frustrated on the shorter not-quite-enough pulses. On my own, I had liked this pattern to get me started, but it wasn’t enough to get me off.

“Fuck, Sherlock,” he moaned. His breathing was already speeding up quite a bit. “That’s--”

“I know.” I was panting too, but the frustration was beginning to escalate too quickly. I pressed the speed button twice, which changed the pattern to a steady series of quick, short vibrations. 

John got frustrated almost immediately. “Sherlock, I swear to God, if you don’t--”

“Not enough for you?” I teased. I felt kind of powerful, being able to make him struggle for words like this.

“No, fuck, I need--”

I pressed the button one more time. This was a more staccato rhythm, three uneven short pulses and a long one. This would be enough to get us off, but it wasn’t quite satisfying. It wasn’t enough. He groaned loudly and I mirrored the sentiment, so I decided not to torture us both.

One more button press. Long vibration, agonizing half-second pause. Oh yeah. That would do it.

“Oh fuck,” John was moaning. “Sherlock. Yeah, I’m almost there. Don’t stop.” He sounded so beautiful. I would be saving this in my mind palace to revisit later. Everything about him--his sweat, his voice, his body, his enthusiasm--made me want him.

I flipped us over, rolling John onto his back, and crawled down his body. Without changing the speed, I pressed the head of the vibrator behind his balls, hoping to provide a little stimulation to his prostate from the outside--and hell, if it massaged his balls too, all the better. At the same time, I leaned forward and swallowed down as much of his cock as I could, sucking hard. I hardly had time to start bobbing my head; within seconds he was shouting my name and coming down my throat. Bliss. I happily swallowed everything he had.

When he was done, I turned off the vibrator and eased him out of my mouth, taking a few moments to lick him clean. I was growing to like the bitter taste of his come just because it was him.

John’s hand cupped my cheek and I smiled up at him, feeling a little self-conscious about my own eagerness--not that I’d admit it.

“Do you know how incredible you are?” he asked.

I shook my head. He was wrong. “I hardly did anything. It was all the wand.”

He deftly flipped us over, crawling over me to look me in the eye. “No. That helps, but it’s mostly you.” He kissed me, humming a little as he tasted himself on my tongue. “It’s your turn now. What do you need?”

I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. Won’t last long anyway. Your hand is fine.”

“Sherlock. Tell me.”

I hesitated. I was getting pretty eager to get off, but it was difficult to ask for what I really wanted. What if John didn’t want to do it? I didn’t want him to suffer through something he disliked for my sake. I could finish myself off alone if he preferred.

But the look on his face seemed . . . genuine. I wasn’t always good at reading facial expressions, but John was so open that even an idiot could see through him.

“Your mouth?” I asked quietly.

He smiled. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

Most of John’s prior experience was with women, so he couldn’t take much of me into his mouth, but that didn’t matter. His tongue massaged my glans, his hand stroked the rest of my length, and he pressed the vibrator against me just as I’d done to him. 

I didn’t really hear myself as I came a few moments later, but from the content look on his face, I imagine I must’ve been saying his name. 

He struggled a bit to swallow my come, but I didn’t mind. There was something endearing about hearing him sputter and cough, watching semen drip down his chin, seeing him smile at himself because he was happy to have tried.

“John,” I said, slipping my fingers into his short hair. I needed him to be closer to me now. I felt weirdly afraid that he was going to walk out. It was an unfounded fear, as he’d never abandoned me after sex before, but maybe it was just the oxytocin making me clingy. I could complain about biology being boring, but any excuse to be near John was a good thing. I could blame my hormones if he tried to leave.

He turned off the vibrator, wiped the mess from his chin and kissed me, lying down half on top of me. He felt amazing.

“Was that okay?” he asked, wrapping an arm around my waist. Staying here, then. Good.

“More than okay,” I assured him.

“I could use more practice.”

I laughed. “Give me an hour and we can make that happen.”

“I can’t believe you planned this just because you knew I liked the video.”

I figured this would be a bad time to reveal the exact number of hours I’d spent going through his porn history, so I stayed silent.

He laughed. “Sherlock?”

“Yeah?”

“I knew you’d be coming home then.”

Wait. “What?”

“Lestrade texted me that the case was over and you’d be on your way home. I timed it so you’d walk in before I finished.”

No fucking way. “You yelled at me for walking in on you!”

“I already know you snoop through my browser history, but this was much more fun. Don’t you think?” He smiled.

I laughed and kissed him. Only John would think of that sort of thing. He was so much smarter than everyone else. My John. I was glad no one else could have him now. I didn’t want to share him.

“Stay with me,” I said, hooking a leg around him and closing my eyes. I was ready to sleep now and I was beginning to learn that I slept better with him there.

“I will,” he said. It sounded like a promise.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a quick comment to let me know your thoughts. I love feedback!


End file.
